I Protest!

Mortar and Pestle - Pertakis Supermarket, Paleochora - a snip at 8 Euros

Mystical Tibetan Singing Bowl - a snip at 3400Euros

Why, I hear you say, are we intending to make such a spectacular protest in the streets of Paleochora next week? I refer of course to myself, my colleague Dr. Insa Ne and that other person Ms Teake? (Though if the truth be known we only asked her along out a misplaced sense of pity?

It’s a matter of principle as far as I am concerned.

If the Mayor won’t lift his unilateral ban on the use of beach umbrellas on the illegal nude bathing portion of the Sandy Beach, then I’m worried that my “Over 80’s full frontal naked charka tune up, tantric sex and yoga session” will have to be cancelled because the poor dears tend to shrivel up in the heat. If the session is cancelled, my clients lose the opportunity to readjust their spiritual energies, restabilise their auras after the recent flare up caused by the poor value of the Pound against the Euro and I lose much needed income! The result of the latter will be that I will be unable to offer my

“Free (for a modest suggested donation of 325 Euros) Knit your own Yoghurt and Raki Therapy (incorporating frequent use of mystical Tibetan Yodelling Bowls) sessions”

and the life of the village will be all the poorer for that as I am sure you will agree!

In the meantime, irrespective of the outcome of the protest, my associate Dr. Insa Ne will continue her good work ministering to spiritual needs of the over 80s. However, she has asked me to mention that she would prefer if her elderly male clients would in future take their false teeth out BEFORE their sessions begin.

Finally, contrary to the rumours apparently put about by other less gifted psykiks in the village, I would like to make it clear that my absence from the “blog scene” of late has nothing whatsoever to do with any threat of arrest under the 1867 Vagrancy Act which may or may not have been levelled against me in the UK. As I told my solicitor, I am an artist of the psychic persuasion having performed my world famous “wallet lightening trick” in front of, amongst many others, The Queen, the Princess of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh, and the Duke of York .

If people wish to make donations to me to ensure my physical, and their spiritual, wellbeing who am I to refuse them? As far as I am concerned I would be remiss in my calling if I did other than relieve them of the dreadful karmic burden known as ‘money’, even if I do so at the cost of my taking on their burden and their money.

Welcome to Insa Ne

I’m very glad to announce the arrival of my new helper, Ms Insa Ne D.Div., Philosopher of Parapsychology and Paranormal Sciences, Ph.D.

Insa has spent a long time studying all aspects of Psykickil healing, aura transformation and financial manipulation, gaining both her Doctor of Divinity and Ph.D. degrees in Metaphysical Science in one year, and for only $2500 cash up front, so she’s clearly going to be the most qualified practitioner in Paleochora. (I know that there are those out there who scoff at the idea of a group of people in America setting themselves up as a church and a charity and then selling degrees in bogus pseudo sciences so that con artists can put letters after their names in order to encourage people to trust them and give them money, but I assure you, Insa Ne’s degree wasn’t one of those, honest!)

One Insa’s first tasks will be to acquaint herself with the youth of Paleochora and she will be doing this as soon as she can find him.

After her period of orientation, Insa will initially be assisting me with getting the ying/yang balance of Paleochora restored to its natural harmonic equilibrium following the severe damage done to the spiritual wellbeing of the village by the fraudulent fraudster known as Gerti Yakkitov. I feel that it is going to take some considerable time, and large donations of money to my “Restore Innocence to Paleochora – Official Fighting Fund” (RIP-OFF for short) emergency fund, to restore things back to the way they were in time for the arrival of our summer influx of visitors.

I fell I can confidently predict that Insa will fit right into our psykik community here, (as long as she keeps clear of Ms T**k, that person whose name we do not mention here,) and I further predict that my weekly agonising Psycik Aunt Column will be produced later this week.

I hope also, that with Insa’s help, I will soon to be able to announce that I will in fact now be able to offer my ever popular “Sound Vibration healing for our small friends with whom we share the Planet Seminar.” So all of you out there in Paleochora who have a small friend, we don’t use the word “pets”, who is suffering from depression stress or some other spiritual malaise, can rest assured that help is on the way!

Insa, where was it you bought your degrees? Was it http://umsonline.org/Degrees.htm#DegreesCertificatesCredentialsAwarded ? There prices look very good and I like the idea that you can take all the exams as many times as you like until you pass and that your "Doctoral Thesis" need only be 10,00 words! Delete this bit before you put the blog up won't you? Aunty B.