Welcome to Insa Ne

I’m very glad to announce the arrival of my new helper, Ms Insa Ne D.Div., Philosopher of Parapsychology and Paranormal Sciences, Ph.D.

Insa has spent a long time studying all aspects of Psykickil healing, aura transformation and financial manipulation, gaining both her Doctor of Divinity and Ph.D. degrees in Metaphysical Science in one year, and for only $2500 cash up front, so she’s clearly going to be the most qualified practitioner in Paleochora. (I know that there are those out there who scoff at the idea of a group of people in America setting themselves up as a church and a charity and then selling degrees in bogus pseudo sciences so that con artists can put letters after their names in order to encourage people to trust them and give them money, but I assure you, Insa Ne’s degree wasn’t one of those, honest!)

One Insa’s first tasks will be to acquaint herself with the youth of Paleochora and she will be doing this as soon as she can find him.

After her period of orientation, Insa will initially be assisting me with getting the ying/yang balance of Paleochora restored to its natural harmonic equilibrium following the severe damage done to the spiritual wellbeing of the village by the fraudulent fraudster known as Gerti Yakkitov. I feel that it is going to take some considerable time, and large donations of money to my “Restore Innocence to Paleochora – Official Fighting Fund” (RIP-OFF for short) emergency fund, to restore things back to the way they were in time for the arrival of our summer influx of visitors.

I fell I can confidently predict that Insa will fit right into our psykik community here, (as long as she keeps clear of Ms T**k, that person whose name we do not mention here,) and I further predict that my weekly agonising Psycik Aunt Column will be produced later this week.

I hope also, that with Insa’s help, I will soon to be able to announce that I will in fact now be able to offer my ever popular “Sound Vibration healing for our small friends with whom we share the Planet Seminar.” So all of you out there in Paleochora who have a small friend, we don’t use the word “pets”, who is suffering from depression stress or some other spiritual malaise, can rest assured that help is on the way!

Insa, where was it you bought your degrees? Was it http://umsonline.org/Degrees.htm#DegreesCertificatesCredentialsAwarded ? There prices look very good and I like the idea that you can take all the exams as many times as you like until you pass and that your "Doctoral Thesis" need only be 10,00 words! Delete this bit before you put the blog up won't you? Aunty B.

Update on the Summer Offerings

(One of my followers preparing for my new therapy session.**)

Update

I can now confirm that my ever popular one person tent on the beach at Azogyres will this summer be offering the usual range of acupressure, affirmational/attitudinal healing, aromatherapy, chakra balancing, colour therapy, crystal energy balancing, ear candling, influence of past lives/future lives and karmic proclivities on present wellness status, magnet therapy, mandala, nutritional counseling for energy balancing from chakric or five phase perspectives, personal training, pranic healing, raw foods, reflexology, relaxation, stress reduction, supplements, visualization; but only between 7am and 8pm on alternate days of the week. Unfortunately, in spite of the demand, I have to shut by 8pm in order to get back to attend the clinic in Paleochora.*

I hear from my spirit guides that certain quacks will shortly be offering their "Thought for the day" to the good people of Paleochora on the internetwebbythingy - I won't mention the site but for the sake of arguement it's http://www.paleochora-woowoo.blogspot.com/ -in a clear attempt to copy ever popular On Line Agonising Sikikil Ant feature. Imitation is the best form of flattery is what I always say.


Your Psykikal Agony Aunt answers your Questions


This weeks Column is in response to an psykik vibration picked up from a Mrs Enid Bonkers who when she afrrives in Paleochora will want to ask me about my soon to be patented "Sounds Good To me Healing System"

This an energy-based non-invasive treatment that is similar to acupuncture. Precision calibrated tuning forks are applied to specific acupuncture and acupressure points to access the body's Meridian and Chakra energy systems. These tuning forks represent a natural harmonic series based on the orbital properties of the Earth, Moon, Sun and planets. Their rich resonance and vibration connects with and supports the body's natural frequencies. It brings us into alignment with the cycles of the Cosmos known since antiquity as the Music of the Spheres. The tuning fork is struck on an "Sounds Good To Me"® Black Box - containing my soon to be assembled, non functioning electronic circuits which make little lights flash but do nothing else - then placed on the body or held near the ears. The sound waves of the forks vibrate and travel deeply into the body along energy pathways, affecting human physiology and reaching places not easily accessed by traditional medicine. Applying the forks stimulates and balances the body's physical and subtle energy field to promote healing and inner harmony. Listening to the forks speaks to us deeply by connecting with our vestibular system, within the inner ear canal, and accessing our sense of motion, balance, space, memory, and healing - honest.


It's certainly not just me sticking any old tuning fork on your body somewhere, mumbling a load pseudo scientific nonsense and charging you 235 Euros for the pleasure! ( I charge a mere 200Euros.)


Well, that's all for this week. I'll be back soon with some exciting news for all you ablebodied young men in Paleochora, and Mal Akkers.


* Would prospective patrons please note that I will no longer be doing the usual stuff at the "Doris Stokes Drop-In Spiritual Realignment Centre and Karaoke Bar (Paleochora Branch)." This year because of pressure of work.

**I'm tempted to say "Fork knows why!" -but I won't.


r Lee Hill to know too much about what I'm up to or he'll want his 10% as usual. Delete this before you put the blog up! Aunty B.